So this is kind of awkward.
I'm not exactly sure where to begin, other than I guess a background. I'm not sure how much to include for privacy reasons and all, but here it goes.

I work in a fairly stressful job and as a result, I think little bits and pieces of me have chipped away. As maybe an understatement. I used to love love love writing though, and I do love reading blogs, so maybe this won't be completely awkward. The big barrier is privacy though.

So, I'm in a residency program, and it is wonderful in a way that I frequently take for granted. Before, when I was in school, all I wanted was to make a contribution in the world and I am doing this on a daily basis now. And while it's not happy sunshine rainbows all over the place, there is some great work being done. But there is a lot of responsibility with this, and with that, there is a lot of anxiety and perfectionistic traits that are coming out. There's a lot of "I missed something" or "this didn't go as expected" that happens, as it does with everyone in this profession, but it will eat me up if I let it. And, lately, it's just been harder. I'm in my third year, so I know that there are easier times and harder times, so this too shall pass. And, there's also this self-consciousness with it. I want to come into work STRONG and stay strong all day, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. But, it will pass, so I just need to sit back and let it go.

I think a lot of the solution is personal development away from work, but I guess that at times just isn't easy. There's a lot of catching up on sleep/chores/resting that winds up taking up too much time, but, that part will get better too. Or there's a fear with personal development, and that's why I'm so slow with it. Who knows. A step at a time, I guess.